I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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