that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
