Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
