can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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