I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And then he peed in my hair
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
