Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
