i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
