I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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