What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize