I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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