I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
