Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
