Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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