Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
