I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
