so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
