Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
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