I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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