We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
3 2 1 whiskey
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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