If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
