I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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