you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
