She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
