Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
