its not stalking. its research.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize