I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
