Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
babies were throwing up all over the place
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
