your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
