I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
