Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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