There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
