Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize