Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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