How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
