just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
