im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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