yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ketchup is God's man juice
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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