so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
