He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
