We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
from now on my penis is your penis
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
