You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
