Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
