therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
