If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I've blown a few things in my day
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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