dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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