his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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