he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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