Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
