Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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