I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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