My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
