she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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