why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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