He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
