Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
