Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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