I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
