i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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