dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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