when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
