"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
