plz talk dirty to me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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