Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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