you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
