This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
