It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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