Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
