And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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