I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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