I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
