I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
