Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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