I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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