Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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