i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
