Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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