Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
