Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my liver is dry heaving
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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