Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
