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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
