Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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