he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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