I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
