Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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