you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
3 2 1 whiskey
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
