your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize