the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
