Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
they need to just BURY HIM!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize