Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
